Unclubpenguin

Her husband died, morn for him!Added by Dancing PenguinSpot the difference. And I'll. Give you. Nothing. :P (Answer = Cadence is ugly, but the other one is beautiful...)Added by Z KCadence can't even string a sentence together without being a meme-spewing newguy.Added by Z KJoanna Jamie "Cadence" Crybaby née Jerkins or Cadence is a penguin that married Dancing Penguin who ironically also cries too much, she is also a penguin mixed with being a Vocaloid ripoff (hahaha!), and a Lazytown ripoff; only she works in a Night Club so its pretty damn obvious that she snorts whatever drug she can get her hooves on. She is an epic fail like this user in training. CompareCadence to the picture of Stephanie from Lazytown and you'll notice the mods horny obsession with 'em as seen in the picture below.

What Cadence is trying to do is prove she's hip and got her groove on to the kids. Radical, stallion! It's gonna be funny as hell if some fucking brain-dead kid believes that Cadence is totally kewl and actually grows up to be a Night Club DJ. Enjoy your bong hits. Its obvious that Cadence is the epitome of K00L since she wears headphones with no MP3 player attached to it, which is basically like wearing iPod headphones without the actual iPod connected. Fuck yeah, she sure got our number!

Notice that in the Dance Contest minigame, Cadence has a track called "EPIC FAIL"! This could mean that Cadence is a possible/b/tard and should TITS OR GTFO, or it could mean that like every other shit-brained newguy, Cadence has the sudden thought that by simply saying a meme it is automatically funny. However, Cadence was close, but no cigar since the meme-titled track is techno music, which is the epitome of guygotry. Also, the Dance Contest is a ripoff of Dance Dance Revolution; so as you can see, anything associated with Cadence contains a shitload of ORIGINALITY (although Dance Dance Revolution has been ripped off Over 9000times). You can also get her hair, bangles, and shoes from Penguin Storm so feel free to add that to your item collection. Expect newguys to shit bricks and ask where you got those items. {| class="toc" id="toc"

Contents
[hide]*1 Her Sorry Excuse for a life
 * 2 Quotes
 * 3 Her Life of Prostitution
 * 4 UnIdeas
 * 5 Trivia
 * 6 See also
 * }

Her Sorry Excuse for a lifeEdit
Cadence stinks at life so badly she relies on cheap, poorly mixed, retro-hip hop music to attract unfortunate customers.She is married with Dancing Penguin. Her favorite place to be is in the darkest corner of the Dance Clubso no other penguin can see her orgasms. She loves getting drunk when she dances.

Word of mod says she went to the special needs school, along with Dancing Penguin. They later decided that Dancing was better the what they were going to be - the special needs school taught them everything except killing. Now they kill penguins with their bad dance moves and music. And stupidity. She is the #15 penguin on the idiot penguin list.

Currently she is the DJ at the Night club who doubles as a pole dancer. She spends all her bits on snow (even though she can just pick it off the ground,because there is snow on the ground,eh?) and shares it with Aunt Arctic.

QuotesEdit
As a well-known DJ, you'd expect Cadence to have a knowledge of musical instruments. Wrong, she tells you to play random shit only one as retarded as her could think of;

Brown penguin HERE! You are playin' the BRICKS!
 * ~ Cadence implying someone just shat bricks.

BLUE PENGUIN HERE! You are playin' the ANVIL!
 * ~ Apparently an anvil is a musical instrument.

Look at these BLACK penguins go!
 * ~ Notice the emphasis on the word "Black".

I'm SOOOO hyper right now!
 * ~ Cadence's slang for "I'm freaking stoned!!"

ALL TOGETHER NOW! PLAY THOSE INSTRUMENTS LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
 * ~ With all this anvil and brick playing, Cadence would of done better as a construction worker.

This is SO epic!
 * ~ Gb2/KnowYourMeme newguy.

Her Life of ProstitutionEdit
Lately, a rumor has been going around that Cadence only goes to the night club every night so she can have paid to get jiggy with some penguin. Because every night that she goes to the night club, she takes somepony to her house so she can do them. A red penguin once said this to the Chicken News "I was just hanging out at the night club when Cadence runs by and grabs my hoof and drags me to her igloo and then she starts raping me!". Also the red penguin said that this is what they said to each other when they got to Cadence's igloo. Nopony knows how many times shes been laid, but they say that her pussy is deep and she has a big ass!

Cadence:

Hay colt why don't you just sit on the couch, I'll be right back.

Red Penguin:

OK?

Cadence:

(Comes back nude)

Red Penguin:

Wow, what the fuck!

Cadence:

What, are you SCARED YOU FREAKYPANTS? Check out this ass. Get ready for some fucking and sucking and clitoris licking.

Red Penguin:

Err, i think i gtg (in a scared voice, tries to run away while he can, but he trips on a pile of discs and fails epically)

Cadence:

YOU WILL STAY! (fucks him so hard his testicles come out of his urethra) Now give me bits!

And ever since that Club Chicken News approved that, Cadence is known as a whore.

Cadence went to Dr. Drew for therapy, and she only uses dildos and blow-up toys now.

Recently, it was discovered that Regirock990 introduced her to Prostitution.

UnIdeasEdit

 * Cadence did WTC.
 * Everypony is CP got jiggy with her. Or is that already fact?
 * The reason for her stupidity is because she got high off snow.
 * Or the reason she gets high off snow is because she's stupid.
 * She is Dancing Penguin's sister
 * Or cousin
 * Or mother
 * So that makes DP a mother fucker?


 * She turns into a cool, good singer.

TriviaEdit
Actual Quote from Club Penguin Wiki's trivia section on Cadence: Her name is often misspelled as "Cadance," "Candace," "Candance," "Candense," or "Cantdance (but thats another story)"
 * Only her and Dot have eyelashes, because you need to look reasonably attractive when getting picked up on the street. This has been attempted by Queers and Slut Penguins, with lesser effect.
 * Apparently the word "Cadence" is a term in music describing a progression of chords, yet Cadence can't play music for shit and thinks random objects = musical instruments. Don't do drugs, kids.
 * She SAYS at least ONE WORD in CAPSLOCK every sentence, because CAPSLOCK is CRUISE CONTROL for COOL
 * But even with cruise control, you still need to steer.
 * She is Dancing Penguin 's wife. But she still wubs her Dancing Penguin! This is the only time love has been shown in Club Penguin. She later created a son named Rookie and Gangsta Rookie with Jet Pack Gay.
 * To make things worse, they were five years old at the time
 * She is always ready to change Dancing Penguin's diaper whenever he shits in it.
 * She gets high on Snow with Aunt Arctic.
 * We're pretty sure she's a fucking loser, but no one really gives a shit anymore (and we already knew that about Dancing Penguin).
 * She has a shitty knowledge of musical instruments.
 * She has tried to get an iPhone 4, but failed.
 * She likes to buy drugs from Rockhopper.
 * Jh226ao has a secret crush on her (this is a secret O_o)
 * Rockhopperfan2013 has Crush on her then He fucked Her, Cadence's pregrant now.

See also Edit
This article is FIERCE!It is so "fierce" that it has been given a rainbow puffle. Fantabulous!Ooo, I think I am hip hot! Can you tell me the truth, though? Am I hip? Yes72 No210 Guess what, this poll I have to guard was created at 02:53 on September 3, 2009, and so far 282 people voted. OMG, that's alot. Now shut up. I am so sexy! Oh, OV COURZE!14 Sure...8 HELL NO!52 Guess what, this poll I have to guard was created at 16:51 on August 10, 2010, and so far 74 people voted. OMG, that's alot. Now shut up.
 * Dancing Penguin
 * Cantdance
 * Regirock990
 * UnIdeas:Cadence